A rollercoaster ride of confusion, speculation and Haribos. Inside the election night studio
Few people would cheerfully sign up to sit their GCSEs again, let alone do them on a rollercoaster. But that’s what it’s like being in a radio or TV studio on election night.
First comes the revision. Alongside covering the daily events of the campaign, you’re trying to cram as much information as you can into your head. What swing do Labour need to take Swindon North? When was the last time the Lib Dems held St Ives? What’s the current record low turnout?
You file all these away, hoping the right fact will pop into your head at the right time. Suddenly it’s election night, and time to climb on the rollercoaster.
The lead-up is like the slow, tension-building climb to the top. You know something’s about to happen but you’re not sure exactly what. The few minutes before 10pm is that moment when the rollercoaster hovers above the first drop. Then Big Ben bongs and you plunge into the unknown, never entirely sure which way you’re about to be thrown.
10pm - The Exit Poll
If you’re incredibly lucky, you’ll get maybe 2 minutes to look at the exit poll. In reality, you’ll frantically scribble down the numbers as they appear on a TV screen in front of you, knowing that in a few seconds someone is going to say “well, Paul, what does that mean?”
It’s only a poll, albeit one that’s been very reliable in recent history. It’s also the only vaguely concrete thing to cling to for the first hour or so.
In 2015, all four major parties quickly briefed that they didn’t believe the prediction. For the Conservatives and SNP, it represented the best possible outcome; for Labour and the Liberal Democrats, the worst possible nightmare. The exit poll becomes the basis of every interview you’ll do in the next two hours.
A handful of results will come in early, and you’ll desperately extrapolate what it would mean if the whole country voted the same way as Sunderland South, which - clearly - it won’t.
11.30pm-12.30am - The first lull
You’ve had the first trickle of results, you’re no nearer to knowing if the exit poll is right, and some of your audience is giving up and going to bed. You’re running out of ways to ask different people the same question, and the sugary snacks you brought for the middle of the night are starting to look tempting. If only we could have some more results…
12.30-3.30am - Results race in
Dozens of declarations happening at once in sports halls and civic centres across the country — some you take live, others you note down to mention later. Many, especially the safe seats, will never be mentioned. Party leaders start to get their results, and you’ll pay close attention to their speeches — will they concede? Or talk about the heavy responsibility they’re about to assume? Before you know it, it’s the middle of the night.
3.30-4.30am - The second lull
The party leaders are heading back to London, the bulk of the results are in, someone may have already passed the victory line. This is where you need the emergency Haribos. Early risers are tuning in to find out what’s going on, and the last thing they need is Mr Snoozy stumbling through his 17th summary of the night.
4.30-6am - A new dawn has broken
At party HQs supporters are congratulated or consoled. Our political leaders have been awake for around 24 hours now, and we’re about to ask some of them to form a new government. Meanwhile, in the studio, the fresh-faced breakfast show team is are arriving, rested and alert. Bastards.
